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• Anyone know how to get in touch with Flo? Please tell him I sent a trade offer.
  Mo Money Mo Bamba at Jan 12, 2022 6:59 PM
• Chase Budinger’s Buddies's trade block has been updated!
  Tom Brinklow at Dec 24, 2021 7:58 AM
• Letters to a Young Athlete's trade block has been updated!
  zach e.d. at Dec 6, 2021 10:58 AM
• 
  Sir, This is a Wemby's! at Dec 1, 2021 10:01 AM
• I wanted to see if people would set their lineups without training wheels. It almost worked! I'll be back with league notes next week - the world is watching the matchup between Gus and myself. Kyle, I will grant you this: your team is much improved and will likely jump a tier. I still don't get your team name though.
  zach e.d. at Dec 1, 2021 9:56 AM
• Curious that the power rankings have stopped during my 2 game win streak. Cowardly commish!
  Mental Health Fast Break at Nov 30, 2021 2:07 PM
• Superpowers have begun to emerge. Here are the power rankings. I’ve also taken the liberty of combing through the rosters and identifying the best asset on each team based on another proprietary formula. If you have complaints about your ranking, please address them to elsaverizzle@aol.com.
  
  POWER RANKINGS
  
  Tier 1: The Frontrunner
  
  1) Lifeguard Kelly: This is the team to beat. The gap in categories won between Kelly and the second-place team is five, while the gap between second place and ninth place is sixth. The entire starting lineup looks solid. But how will this team fare with its team captain and on-court leader, Kelly Olynyk, sidelined for six weeks? Also, the GM of this team got married this past weekend and had the best wedding playlist I’ve ever heard, congrats! (Best Asset: Miles Bridges @ $13)
  
  Tier 2: Contenders
  
  2) Mo Money Mo Bamba: This is a very well-balanced team with an untouchable backcourt. Zion’s absence has led to All-Star numbers for Jonas. Add in a breakout season for his namesake and you got yourself quite the squad. I also love his go-forward core of Trae, Ja, Randle, Edwards, Keldon Johnson, and Mo. Could be at the top of these rankings for years to come. (Best Asset: Julius Randle @ $60)
  
  3) Buddy Hield Finals MVP: Not much to add here from last time. Lots of all-star production across the board on very reasonable deals. The mayoral inauguration in New York City could push this squad into the First Tier come January. But in the meantime, Rubio be tearing it up. (Best Asset: Rudy Gobert @ $58)
  
  4) Chase Budinger’s Buddies: As I predicted, Chase Budinger’s Buddies isn’t in the same class as Lifeguard Kelly and Mo Money Mo Bamba, as his undefeated streak came to an end last week. However, Gus gets points for posting an angry message during his honeymoon. That sort of dedication foretells much success in future seasons, if not the one we got going on right now. (Best Asset: Jaylen Brown @ $59)
  
  Tier 3: The Mediocrity Treadmill
  
  5) Deniz Kilicli, The Istanbull: Any team with Luka and LaMelo is going to get ranked pretty high. Rounds out that excellent backcourt with a ton of value in the frontcourt, with C-Wood, Nurkic, Richaun, Jarrett Allen, and Mitchell Robinson all adding blocks and FG% for cheap at $23 or less. (Best Asset: Luka Doncic @ $111)
  
  6) Wham Bam, Thank You Ma'am: Lots of health concerns here. But if things go right, there are a lot of stat-stuffers on this team. Needs to round out the back-end of his rotation – maybe Jonathan Isaac can help down the stretch. Side note – was Scottie Barnes the best pick in the entire auction? (Best Asset: Scottie Barnes @ $7)
  
  7) Retired basketball addict: Well-rounded players up and down the roster. Lot depends on the health of MPJ and Hayward. Fun fact: EJ has both Porter Juniors on his team. (Best Asset: LiAngelo Ball @ $1)
  
  8) Letters to a Young Athlete: My team kinda stinks. (Best Asset: Paolo “DWI Abettor” Banchero @ $14).
  
  9) Shooters Shoot: Most definitely a bad team now. Only in this tier because if Lebron and Zion are healthy, this team suddenly becomes a problem. Nevertheless, Brennan has eked out a decent performance thus far with 17 categories won. A team to watch. (Best Asset: LeBron James @ $91)
  
  10) Brad’s Ball Boys: Can’t really figure out why this team has only won 11 categories. It has Giannis, Harden , Lavine, and Lonzo. I guess the back-end of that starting lineup is absolutely horrible. When Klay comes back, this is team could be legit. Ché might want to start speculating with the 12 empty spots on his roster, but what do I know, I have the same record as him. (Best Asset: Lonzo Ball @ $24).
  
  Tier 4: Bob the Re-Builder
  
  11) Flo: Great centers, lukewarm effort. Will need to flip one of those big men into a guard before he can move up a tier. Cade also needs to stop sucking butt and torpedoing his categories. The bones are there. (Best Asset: Nikola Jokic @ $115 or Tyler Herro @ $7)
  
  12) TBD: My guess is Kyle will finally pick a name once Kawhi and Simmons come back. Until then, his name will be TBD, and his wins will be MIA. (Best Asset: Pascal Siakam @ $20)
  zach e.d. at Nov 17, 2021 10:56 AM
• He also has better players though, that was the biggest thing.
  zach e.d. at Nov 2, 2021 12:21 PM
• “His only loss was to a 1 - 1 team whose only win was against him” = Number 3 power ranking. Sick logic commish
  Tom Brinklow at Nov 1, 2021 9:43 PM
• “His only loss was to a 1 - 1 team whose only win was against him” = Number 3 power ranking. Sick logic commish
  Tom Brinklow at Nov 1, 2021 8:31 PM
• Very disrespectful. My guys will have the last laugh.
  Tom Brinklow at Nov 1, 2021 8:21 PM
• First two weeks in the books! Great job everybody, it’s been a good season so far, even as they work out some of the kinks in real-time. I’m reaching out for three reasons.
  
  The first is to let everyone know that you must reset your lineups EVERY MONDAY. For the first few Mondays I will send out reminders, but you will eventually be on your own.
  
  The second is to let everyone know that the college freshmen are now available for auction. Happy bidding, boys!
  
  The third is to hit you with the first-ever power rankings. These are highly scientific so please don’t question my formula unless you come up with a better one yourself.
  
  1) Lifeguard Kelly (2-0): Mike Kent is a fantasy stalwart, so no surprise he’s nabbing the top spot. He has four stars in Durant, D-Mitch, Vucci Mane, and KD, and has build around them nicely with some bargain deals. If Miles Bridges can keep up his All-NBA production levels, the rest of us are just going to drown.
  2) Mo Money Mo Bamba (2-0): Truly an incredible name. This also might be the swaggiest team ever. Top to bottom, everyone has hella swag. Has an amazing backcourt between Trae and Ja, and if Anthony Edwards and Mo Bamba have made truly made leaps, this team is going to be a problem. Bonus points for having the deepest bench in the league, although it remains to be seen just how valuable that is.
  3) Buddy Hield Finals MVP (1-1): His only loss was a nail-biter in Week 1 against the strong Retired Basketball Addict, and it’s hard to put a lot of stock into the records this early. This team simply has a ton of star power in Dame, Playoff P, Ayton, Jimmy, and Gobert, plus a vicious enforcer in Bobby Portis. He definitely has a few holes in his line-up – Oubre, McDaniels, and Portis are probably not starting-caliber players – but he could fill one of them with Kyrie Irving down the road.
  4) Chase Budinger’s Buddies (2-0): Congrats on getting married, Gus, and Mazel Tov on your undefeated team. To be honest, I’m not sure how you’ve managed either one. Bob Williams and Evan Mobley are both super cool, though.
  5) Retired Basketball Addict (1-1): Gotta love the star-power here. Triple-double machine Russell Westbrook at $64 stands out in particular, especially if the Lakers continue to rest LeBron James and his partially torn labium. Lots of single-digit bargains here (Hield, KPJ, Hayward, McCollum) rounding out a really solid starting lineup.
  6) ByrneHawk (1-1): Unlike another team on this list, ByrneHawk benefits from Zion’s increasing gravitational pull. Ingram could be a star with more usage; add in AD, Bam, and Dejounte Murray, and this could be a contender. A $7 Scottie Barnes is looking like one of the steals of the draft.
  7) Letters to a Young Athlete (1-1): Deep lineup with a few bargain-bin contributors. The big X-Factor will be Chris Paul. Otherwise, this is a one-star team with a few too many role-players.
  8) Brad’s Ball Boys (1-1): James Harden and Giannis Antetokounmpo. It’s a heck of a one-two punch. But is it enough?
  9) Deniz Kilicli, The Istanbull (1-1): LaMelo Ball and Luka Doncic makes this one of the most interesting teams in the league. Obviously, if LaMelo’s statistical output can match his star power, we’re talking about one of the best tandems in the league, one that could push him into the playoffs for years to come. As it stands, LaMelo is wildly overpriced, and the rest of the roster doesn’t appear good enough to compensate, despite solid performances thus far from fringy fucks like Harrison Barnes and Toby Harris.
  10) Flo (0-2): The best of the 0-2 teams, Flo (who I assume is named after the Progressive lady) has the best frontcourt in the league between The Joker, Embiid, Myles Turner, and Clint Capela. Rebounds, FG%, and blocks aren’t going to be a problem. But the other categories might suffer, especially if Cade Cunningham doesn’t get off to a hot start.
  11) TBD (0-2): SGA and Domantas are solid stat-stuffers, so if Ben Simmons can come back and contribute his usual lines, we’ve got a good foundation. Problem with Kyle’s team is that he has an enormous amount of his cap space devoted to injured or mentally unwell folks like Simmons, Kawhi, Siakam, and Fultz. If Kawhi comes back though, we’re all going to be asking why the hell we let him go for only $35.
  12) Shooters Shoot (0-2): Zion Williamson has never seen a meal he didn’t like, and that Brennan’s cap space. His next best player, Lebron, is going to be taking a lot of time off in preparation for the playoffs. His third-best player, Jayson Tatum, recently had a competitiveness-ectomy and recently enrolled in the Communist Party of the United States, whose mission statement is eliminating Wins and Losses from society. I’m worried that Donte DiVincenzo isn’t going to be enough.
  zach e.d. at Nov 1, 2021 3:39 PM
• Letters to a Young Athlete's trade block has been updated!
  zach e.d. at Oct 28, 2021 10:37 AM
• Thanks Jim, that's good to know. Another thing is this is a H2H categories league. The categories are slightly different this year. Notably, turnovers are a category over double-doubles, and 3PM/FT% have been switched to 3P%/FTM, respectively. Here are the categories:
  
  Points
  Rebounds
  Assists
  Steals
  Blocks
  FG%
  FTM
  3PT%
  Fewest TOV
  zach e.d. at Oct 11, 2021 1:31 PM
• Looks like incoming college Freshmen (aka most of next years NBA draft) aren't in the player pool until NCAA rosters are updated. So if you're searching for Chet Holmgren, that's why he isn't popping up. Looks like these guys will be in-season auctions.
  Deniz Kilicli, The Istanbull at Oct 11, 2021 12:55 PM
• will be will be
  zach e.d. at Sep 27, 2021 12:36 PM
• Ladies and Gentlemen,
  
  A few of you are probably wondering if there are any females in this league. The answer is no, there isn't, but I wanted you to question that for a second. I wonder what the female participation rate will be in the inaugural Ottoneu Basketball season will be. My guess is fairly low.
  
  Now for the real business: we now have 12 managers and the draft is going to be on October 11 at 6:00 PM. Everyone needs to be there - there is no auto-draft setting.
  
  Also, for league fees, you have already paid $20 to join. That's simply the cost of the league. As is, there will be no payouts through Ottoneu. The next league tier ($50 buy-in) includes league payouts of $300 for the winner and $50 for the runner-up. Based on this, I decided to do the $20 tier and a separate Venmo payment of $30 per team, which amounts to $50 total for everyone but gives us a slightly larger payout pool ($360 vs. $350), meaning our payouts would be $310 for the winner and $50 for the runner-up. I will send out Venmo requests before the draft. Basically, I don't want to pay Ottoneu $10 to handle the payouts.
  
  That's that homies. Let me know if you have any questions. In the meantime, I'll be looking forward to the draft.
  
  Commish
  zach e.d. at Sep 27, 2021 12:36 PM
• Hey everyone! It's the Commish here! I know some of you are wondering what the heck is going on with this whole Ottoneu thing - let me assure you, it's a fast learning curve. If you have any questions about league rules beyond what you find in the Rules tab, post them here and myself or another manager with experience can help you out.
  
  For those of you that were in the original Ball Don't Lie, welcome back! It was always a last second scramble to get that league together, so we've made a change in the commish, exchanged a few teams, and transitioned to a Dynasty format, since everyone's favorite part of the NBA is the front office stuff anyway. As it stands, I think the easiest way of dealing with keepers from the Yahoo league is to start with a blank slate (and I had Kevin Durant as a last-round pick, so I'll be sad to see him go). If anyone has any other ideas, let me know. For people who weren't in the original Ball Don't Lie, welcome to our humble league!
  
  The first matter of business is setting up a draft. As auctions for 25-man rosters, these drafts take a lot of time. It's a one-time thing though, since all subsequent drafts we'll have a ton of keepers, thus significantly reducing the number of draft picks needed to complete any given draft. However, I'd say prepare for a 4 to 5 hour draft this time around. I know it's #weddingszn, so the weekends are likely not in play, making this all a bit harder. Making it harder is the fact that two league members are having bachelor parties in October, and one is getting married. That being said, here's a Doodle for everyone to fill out to determine availability. Please fill it out ASAP so we can lock in a draft time - the season is happening sooner than you think!
  
  https://doodle.com/poll/w38wthg2e735kzr4?utm_source=poll&utm_medium=link
  zach e.d. at Sep 20, 2021 2:29 PM