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And My Bat has decided not to return for next season. If any of you have a friend who would be a good fit for the league, please let me know so we can add them in sooner rather than later.
Ben's Banter on
November 3, 2023 11:22 AM
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Last note on this: remember that when you've made your arb allocations for each team, you need to hit the "save" button at the bottom of your page. You'd think after doing for years I'd remember without messing it up, but alas.
Ben's Banter on
October 15, 2023 2:34 PM
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Also, remember that arbitration is one of our required participation benchmarks each year. So if you don't want to face the possibility of removal from the league, make sure you've completed it before November 14th. Doing it early is better, since you can always go back and adjust your choices up to the end of the arbitration period. If you don't plan on returning to the league next season, please let me know so I can try to get a replacement owner in before the end of arb.
Ben's Banter on
October 15, 2023 2:19 PM
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Hey folks, welcome to the offseason. The first step is arbitration. In our league, each major league player automatically gets a $2 salary increase at the end of the season, and each minor leaguer (not on the MiLB spreadsheet) gets a $1 increase. That's already happened. In arbitration, we are all required to allocate additional salary increases to the other teams. You must allocate at least $1 and no more than $3 to each team. You can allocate to one player or up to 3 per team.
Ben's Banter on
October 15, 2023 2:16 PM
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Congrats, Martian! This year has been quite the reminder just how competitive this league is. Hope everyone enjoys the playoffs and has a great offseason!
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Thank you everyone! It's been quite the journey over these past 5 years from constant basement dweller to the mountain top this season. Rebuilds take time. Especially when your first keepers only include Gregory Polanco, Lewis Brinson, Paul Dejong and Jameson Taillon! Of course, big thank you to our Commish, not only for the leadership, but also the joy and fun exhibited in keeping this league active. Not to mention, the tough competition all year. Here's to next season everyone, Cheers!
The Infirmary on
October 2, 2023 1:22 AM
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The Martian landed indeed! Congrats on an excellent plan and massive movement upwards this season! Well done. Thanks, Commish, for running the league so well while waxing eloquently about player debuts. Enjoyed all of you! But, man, my morning routine will sure be different not making out each day's lineup. Let's enjoy the off season!
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Hail to the champs. Well done and we’ll deserved. Over here in Silk Robes & Kimonos town, we will be wearing those robes and kimonos proudly. Third places is our highest finish, and honestly it feels like something of an accomplishment in a league this talented.
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Congrats to The Martian for winning this season! He has been following The Process for the last four seasons, and it finally paid off. Thanks to everyone for another engaging and active season.
Ben's Banter on
October 1, 2023 6:56 PM
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To put it more simply, as long as your team name isn't highlighted in red today or tomorrow, you're fine. But if it is, either you'll need to cut your roster down, or I will.
Ben's Banter on
September 30, 2023 3:05 PM
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Hey all, just a reminder as we approach the last day of the season tomorrow. Your roster cannot exceed cap limits at the end of the season. So whatever your roster cap limit is now (40 + 60-day IL players etc) is your limit going into the offseason. If you add players and go over that limit, you'll need to cut by the end of the day tomorrow. Failure to do so will mean that I will cut down your roster before arbitration begins, starting from the most recently added player.
Ben's Banter on
September 30, 2023 2:40 PM
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I love this you guys. Nicely done.
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Good plan and execution guys. On the final week of the season, it's a nice bit of housecleaning. Who knows where his situation will land.
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Great plan! I had planned to drop him again after the nomination, but I like your decision much better!
The Infirmary on
September 27, 2023 12:35 PM
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I had some extra salary so I bid heavy on Wander Franco to make sure no other team would win the auction. I'll be dropping him soon to make sure he is a free agent going into next year. A potentially discounted contract under these circumstances doesn't sit well and I think we should just wait for some clarity during the offseason.
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Lol...oh man. All excited to hopefully finish third...aaaannnnnnddddd...I hit the innings cap today.
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A Carter, who surprisingly neither wants it that way nor wants candy, named Evan has debuted for the North Shore Captains.
Ben's Banter on
September 9, 2023 12:05 PM
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-20.90...Slightly less than perfect. I've decided to Telly Savalas my head.
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This has been “The Ballad of MacKenzie Gore” by Shelbyville, a division of Serial Podcast Productions. Tune in tonight at 7 ET as he takes on the Dodgers for what can only be described as the most anticipated event of the year. Will he throw a perfect game? Probably. Do jinxes work? It’s worth a shot.
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[Sept 7-Interior – Daytime – Large office with a city view]
SR&K [Combing their luscious thick hair]: “Life just wasn’t the same without you! A mediocre team, some guy who trademarks everything, and those a-holes from Shelbyville have been making life hard. But I got you back and now everything will be great! I’m giving you the ball and you get to start tomorrow.”
Gore: “It’s good to be back!”
[They both jump while pumping a fit in the air- Freeze frame – Roll credits]
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[Sept 4-Black screen-Fade up audio of locker room background noise and Ben still talking]
Ben: “…guy name Rube Waddell who left a game to chase a fire truck and that isn’t even his weirdest story. Hey! Are you even listening? I can banter all day for three straight days, but I need a little support once in a while. You know what? I don’t think this is a good fit. You’re cut!
Gore [inner monologue]: “I never even got to pitch here.”
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[Interior- Locker room, September 1st]
Gore [Interior monologue]: “The new GM seems like the perennial second best in the league, which is good, but he talks soooooo much."
Ben: Welcome to the team, I know you’ve had a rough go recently, but we are hoping you can turn it around for your next start in a couple days. That reminds me of the time…”
[Ben's audio fades as he keeps bantering]
Gore [Inner monologue]: “Silk Robes are the best uniform. I miss home." *sigh
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[Exterior-rainy night under a streetlight, August 29th]
SR&K: "MacKenzie, I used to have a beautiful head of hair, but now after your 7.1-point performance today I'm completely bald. I'm putting you on the trading block and you lucky you aren't just straight to the chopping block. maybe someone else wants to waste innings on you, but I'm done."
Gore: "I understand boss. Maybe I'll get lucky and head to Shelbyville."
SR&K [stifles a laugh]: &
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Jordan Lawlar's tongue lolled as he lol'd, having fought the law, leering, as it didn't win, replay review confirming the legality of his efforts in his Shelbyvillian debut.
Ben's Banter on
September 8, 2023 9:24 AM
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Austin struck his dinger Well, and Shy Ronny hid from his mortality in their respective debuts.
Ben's Banter on
September 2, 2023 8:26 PM
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Is it wrong that I want to kiss all the Shelybvillans after their trading block update?
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Mackenzie Gore has cost me enough hair. Anyone interested? Send me an offer.
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Phil spent his entire career under a candle-light vigil, protecting his meager salary...he understands...
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Yes, we’re having a candlelight vigil over here for my player budget.
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Don't forget to pour one out for SR&K, our resident Ohtani-haver.
Ben's Banter on
August 24, 2023 3:53 PM
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Pour one out for the big man, the big man’s UCL, and Ben Lindbergh, the big man’s biggest fan.
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Is that America's shortest-serving and only-Hoosier President? No, that's William Henry Harrison. Is that the oft-neglected glue guy who held the Beatles' transcendent soundscape together? No, that's George Harrison. But is that a town and village in Westchester County, New York, United States, 22 miles (35 km) northeast of Manhattan?? No, that's Harrison, NY. It's the man whose name defies punnery: Kyle Harrison! Congrats on the SR&K debut, Kyle.
Ben's Banter on
August 23, 2023 6:53 PM
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A few of the more liturgically-cognizant bleacher bums turned their heads as the walkup music "Noelvi, Noelvi// Born is the King of Israelvi" blared over stadium speakers today during Noelvi Marte's debut for the MVP Machines.
Ben's Banter on
August 20, 2023 5:39 PM
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These dad joke level posts about debuts are amazing. Please never stop never stopping with them.
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Is that a hipster-resonant, honey-based fermented beverage stepping up to the plate? Wait, no, it's a human man! Curtis Mead has debuted for the Dingers, and there's a real buzz about him.
Ben's Banter on
August 7, 2023 3:43 PM
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Alright folks, the trade deadline may be upon us in the real MLB, but we still have a month until the Ottoneu deadline. That said, look over your rosters and update your trade targets if you're interested in making a deal before the end of August.
Ben's Banter on
July 31, 2023 9:58 AM
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And wow. The "battle" for 4th-8th is crazy.
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Oh man. That's rather unfortunate (in Colin Firth's voice)
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Silk, on Friday in another league I’m in, a guy started Ohtani AND Henry Davis (who got two of the four homers) and Lance Lynn AND Byron Buxton (who hit two homers off Lynn) and that was just about the funniest line I’ve ever seen.
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The time you had 4 SP's going, one being the Avenger Shohei Ohtani himself, and your SP's end at a -30
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The Priester, dressed in his silk robe vestments, orated to the box seats: "The Endy times are nigh. Prepare the way for the dingers!" And it was so, following their debuts.
Ben's Banter on
July 18, 2023 11:37 AM
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Shelbyville’s Shelbyvillians saw someday-superstar, Soderstrom, start. Squealing supporters stood, stomped, and screamed salient satisfactions for this supercalifragilisticexpialidocious debut.
Ben's Banter on
July 15, 2023 8:31 AM
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Enjoy the All Star break! A different rhythm for a few days. Feel free to move some furniture or something.
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The interview wasn't going well following the debut of the North Shore Captains' young outfielder.
"Ok so you're a fire-breathing turtle monster, singularly fixated on kidnapping a mushroom princess, right?" asked the reporter.
"No, that's Bowser," replied Cowser.
"Okay, so you're a living skeleton who is a heavy class kart racer?"
"No, that's Dry Bowser."
"Okay, so you are a mischiev
Ben's Banter on
July 6, 2023 10:12 AM
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I've been trying to think of puns, but the well has run dry. So for today I'll just say that Nick Gonzales debuted with the Dingers and Jordan Westburg debuted with the MVP Machines.
Ben's Banter on
June 27, 2023 6:17 PM
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"While I certainly had a feeling tonight was gonna be a good night, a good night, a good good night... I honestly feel like I just want to do it again, and do it, and do it, and do it. Let's do it, and do it, and do it," screamed Gavin will.i.ams following his debut with the Wanderers.
Ben's Banter on
June 23, 2023 11:44 AM
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"I don't have anything terribly interesting to say. My debut occurred. Yeah... that's it," Luis Matos announced, giving an effective, if mediocre, summary of his day to reporters.
Ben's Banter on
June 15, 2023 12:50 PM
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Quality promotion post right there, sir!
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"Yo, Mr. White!"
"What is it, Jesse??"
"When are we gonna cook? I want to make some money!"
"I don't need to cook for money anymore, Jesse. I have just been added to the North Shore Captains following my debut."
"Yeah science!"
"Yes. Oh, and Jesse... say my name."
"...Owen."
Ben's Banter on
June 14, 2023 12:43 PM
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“Cruise ships can radically alter the economies of coastal towns. The large influxes of people can stimulate tourist-targeting businesses, but they can also strain logistical supports and make it less affordable for long-term residents to live near where they work. But don’t worry; I’m not a cruise ship. I’m just a guy named ‘de la Cruz,’” divulged Elly de la Cruz to reporters, following his debut.
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